Trauma Therapy

Nobody can "treat" a war, or abuse, rape, molestation, or any other horrendous event, for that matter; what has happened cannot be undone. But what can be dealt with are the imprints of the trauma on body, mind, and soul: the crushing sensations in your chest that you may label as anxiety or depression; the fear of losing control; always being on alert for danger or rejection; the self-loathing; the nightmares and flashbacks; the fog that keeps you from staying on task and from engaging fully in what you are doing; being unable to fully open your heart to another human being.
-Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD

Trauma.
Now there's a word that most people have a difficult time defining.
So many people that I work with tend to minimize the trauma they have experienced with a statement like, "Well what I lived through wasn't that serious. It wasn't as bad as (fill in the blank with something they saw on Criminal Minds) so I shouldn't really complain."

Here's the thing- trauma is not a competition. It doesn't have to be that bad for it to have been incredibly painful and leave lasting impacts on your life. Please know that you deserve healing, regardless of what you have been told in the past. Trauma can look like:

Being bullied at school or constant run-ins with the "mean girls"
Having an extremely critical parent who you could never please
Having an alcoholic parent who you had to be the adult for as a child
Having an emotionally unavailable parent who didn't meet your emotional needs
Being given a diagnosis that changed your life
Being with a partner who is critical, unsupportive, unfaithful, or suddenly ended the relationship

Here is some more information to help you identify what constitutes as trauma be and how it can impact you. Regardless of which category you fit into, therapy can help and you deserve healing.

"Simple" Trauma

The term Simple Trauma doesn't mean there was anything simple about what happened. It only refers to their being a single event that is easy to identify that was, indeed, traumatic. An assault, a school shooting, or a car crash for example. When people come in and can easily identify a particular event that happened for us to work on, it is easier to identify what symptoms are presenting as a result. For example- "I haven't been able to get behind the wheel of my car since the accident. It terrifies me to even think about it."

"Complex" Trauma

Complex Trauma refers to multiple traumas (emotional, physical, and/or sexual) that have been experienced over a period of time. Growing up with abusive family members, for example, fits into this category. Many adults can reflect back on their childhoods and acknowledge that they were abusive, but never put together that those incidents were traumas that still impact them today. It can be very difficult to see just how traumatic your childhood was because kids have an amazing ability to normalize what they experience and find ways to tell themselves "it wasn't really that bad."

What the Impact of Trauma Might Look Like

I'm often asked, "Is PTSD the only sign that someone is struggling with trauma?" Definitely not! PTSD is a diagnosis that consists of specific symptoms as a result of trauma, but many people don't have those symptoms, yet they are still dealing with the effects of their trauma. For many of my clients, their traumatic experiences have resulted in anxiety, depression, and developing negative beliefs about themselves such as:

I'm not good enough
I'm a failure
I'm powerless/helpless
I'm alone/abandoned
I'm unlovable or worthless
I'm responsible for everything
Something is wrong with me
I'm invisible

Trauma can result in having difficulty setting healthy boundaries in relationships, not being able to say no, staying in unhealthy relationships too long, having low self-confidence, having difficulty with self-worth and self-esteem, making decisions based on fear, turning to food for comfort, isolating yourself from friends and family, and overall living small.

If any of these things sound familiar to you, I encourage you to explore the idea that maybe something from your past was more painful than you have given credit, and that maybe somehow it is still holding you back from living the life you know you deserve to live. If that's the case, you deserve the space to heal and move forward with your life without those chains.

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