Can losing weight (or wanting to lose weight) ever NOT be bad for your mental health??

I have gone from not properly feeding myself out of guilt/fear at times in the past, to a fresh new variety of guilt for having a thought that ... idk, maybe I'd like to fit back into last year's shorts? It's beyond annoying.

I am going to be honest with you- this is a super frustrating topic for me and I'm going to try my best to make this is a helpful read, rather than me just ranting (not making any promises though). More than anything, I have a feeling you will probably just understand where I'm coming from and be able to relate. I will also be honest and say that I don't have all my own thoughts and feelings sorted out on this one, because I'm not immune to the BS that is constantly being fed to us (mainly, women). The entire idea of weight loss has become so overwhelming, emotional, divisive. 


Weight loss, or rather the desire to lose weight, has gotten so complicated. "Non-scale victories, food freedom, intuitive eating, orthorexia, low-carb, macro counting, meal delivery services" ... everyone has an opinion on how you are supposed to approach your weight and an argument for how you'll ruin your life if you do it any other way. I constantly vacillate between which offender I'm fighting off each day in my mind. I feel like you can't win for losing! So here's the question that I land on: Can desiring to lose weight ever not be bad for your mental health?


Two groups seemed to have formed in the last few years. "Diet culture" (this is nothing new, it's old school but just being labeled as bad instead of good for the first time) and "diet culture shamers".  The first group uses shame to profit off of telling people (women) to change their size in order to have (more) worth and that skinny = loveable. Yes- I agree that is damaging. But isn't the other group using shame, in the same way, to further its agenda too? Nowadays, if you want to change your body at all, they'll try to convince you that you must not love yourself or you wouldn't want to change! You must be a victim of diet culture and hate yourself deeply. You should* just accept where you are right now. 

This message is equally destructive.

I have gone from not properly feeding myself out of guilt/fear at times in the past, to a fresh new variety of guilt for having a thought that ... idk, maybe I'd like to fit back into last year's shorts? It's beyond annoying.


It shouldn't be this complicated. It shouldn't be this judgmental. Or heavy, or opinionated, or black and white. The more polarized something becomes, the more money is being pumped into those extreme views in my humble opinion, because someone is profiting off of your/our pain. And when this becomes apparent to me, the more time I believe each individual needs to spend reevaluating who/what they are being influenced by. 


So as of late, I've decided that I am personally steering clear of those extremes. I am ignoring every single rule/idea anyone else has for me about my weight, my health, and my body. When did so many people suddenly have degrees in mental health counseling AND nutrition AND health sciences AND eating disorders... all at the same time? Sheesh... 

Y'all are not qualified, IG influencers.

If you tune out the crowd, I think you probably know what's better for yourself much more than you actually give yourself credit for. *Be very leery of the word should. No one else can tell you what you should do unless they have a medical degree (and even then...be selective with what you do with that advice).


Tracking food really helps some people. It becomes obsessive and hurtful for others. 
Weighing consistently is an important and helpful piece of information for some folks, while it becomes detrimental for others. 
Not everyone who wants to lose weight hates themselves. Not everyone who tracks their foods has an eating disorder. Having feelings about your size is normal. Wanting to change is not bad.


Everyone does better with boundaries, this I know to be true. However, healthy boundaries can be complete opposites for two different people, depending on how they are wired, their patterns, and their behaviors. 


The most important piece (that most people miss) is knowing yourself really, really well so that you can know what your healthy boundary is. You can't look to a single person on the internet to know yourself. Not to me, not to your personal therapist, not to a physician. It doesn't work that way. You have to spend time with yourself and have some really honest (and potentially hard) conversations. These are the ones that lead to being free.

Are you avoiding having those conversations? Maybe that's the place to really needs attention. Perhaps you don't want to do that alone. I understand and that IS where expertise outside of yourself comes in. As a therapist, I never tell someone what is best for them. I help them discover their own truth that they decide for themselves. If you are ready to start that journey, send me a message today. I'm here to help without telling you what you should do.

Julie Hilton, LCSW

Julie is a clinical therapist specializing in helping women increase their Self-Worth, decrease their anxiety, and learn to live the life they were created to live! Locate in Alpharetta, Georgia (right outside of Atlanta!) while also offering Telehealth services to all Georgia and Florida residents. Call today for a free consultation! 678-329-9129