Struggling to find time for Self-Care? You might be doing more for yourself than you realize...

Mostly because I want to make this point: You do “do” Self-Care, but likely in ways that you don’t think of, and if you start thinking of them as Self-Care, you will appreciate them even more. 

Self-care is such an overused term and I borderline don’t even like it anymore if I’m being honest. And yet, despite there being millions of articles written on the topic, here I am writing another. 

Mostly because I want to make this point: You do “do” Self-Care, but likely in ways that you don’t think of, and if you start thinking of them as Self-Care, you will appreciate them even more. 

When we look around and can’t find a single moment in the day to pour into our own cup, it can make life seem even more overwhelming than it already is. It’s frustrating and adds to the “what about me?” feeling that a lot of us (*ahem* I’m looking at you, working mamas) carry. It is draining not to care for yourself at all.

But I want you to pause and reframe what Self-Care is, and maybe see that you are taking better care of yourself than you think, and that you deserve credit for the work you are doing.

2 Types of Self-Care:

First, there are the types that make you feel good! These are the mani-pedis, spa day, stop and get the $7 latte, treat-yo-self things that many people actually feel guilty for doing but also what mainstream pushes you to do (because, capitalism). 

Sure, I can get on board with calling this Self-Care if, even for a moment, you feel like you are giving yourself something that you don’t normally get. Feeling pampered is awesome. Feeling relaxed and refreshed is definitely good for the soul. Unfortunately, this Self-Care is very temporary and can be pretty expensive. And again, often leads to feeling guilty, which isn’t good for Self.

I also feel like, because this is the typical way society tells us we need to be Self-Caring, if you haven’t done anything like this for yourself lately, it can make it feel like you haven’t done ANYTHING for yourself, which makes you think you need to do it even more. What a cycle!

Fortunately, these are not the only (or best!) ways to Self-Care! Let’s take a look at an even more important type.

The types that don’t make you feel good:

These are the things that mostly get overlooked and don’t feel like they qualify as Self-Care, but they should. Before I go into the list, let’s talk about intentions and intentionality.

When I do something that I don’t necessarily want to do but I know it’s good for me, I can be very intentional with telling myself why I’m doing it and it changes the way I feel about it. If I intentionally say, “Self, I’m doing this because I love you and the long term impacts are good for you. This is how I’m caring for you today” that feels MUCH different than just grumbling about doing something that I’d rather not do and going through the motions.

All of these Self-Care tasks deserve fo you to be intentional about it being for you, even if it doesn’t feel good at the moment. If you have that little talk with yourself before or during the activity, it’s like you're making sure the drop in the bucket counts.

Financial responsibility- when I contribute to my 401K, I’m caring for my future self, even though my current self wants to spend that money. Every two weeks I should be intentional about letting that fill my cup. When I stick to a budget, that’s Self-Care. When I say no to spending money on something that the bill for would stress me out more than it would make me happy- that is Self-Care! Sometimes NOT spending is better Self-Care than treating myself! So, sometimes get the $7 latte, but equally caring of self is making a cup of tea at home and enjoying it with intention all the same. (Yes, I just basically said a  “we got food at home” talk with yourself absolutely counts :)

Eating- Yes. Every time you eat, you are taking care of yourself. I’m not going into the topic of clean food vs junk food here; that’s too much to unpack and not the point I’m trying to make. But every day you eat, you are caring for yourself on some level. If you pause before you drink the water, tea, coffee, coke, and say, “My body needs fluids, so I’m taking care of a need!” Cool! Give yourself that credit! Every time you sit down for a meal, pause and remind yourself that, no matter what hurry you are in, your intentions are to take care of yourself. (Side note: What shift could you have in mindset if you found gratitude for feeding yourself rather than shame, guilt, judgment, etc. that so many people feel? Another blog for another day…)

Sleep- Omg please sleep. Sleep good. Sleep long. Sleep regularly. Sleep deep. If you give yourself the gift of good sleep you are doing so much for your body! The research on sleep and longevity and overall health is astonishing. I would prioritize sleep over exercise, it’s that important. Tuck yourself in, even when you have things you need to do, and tell yourself, “This is for you, babe.” As much as I love to sleep, I also know how difficult it is for a lot of people. Both scheduling and actually falling asleep. Every time you prioritize sleep or make a change to better your sleep hygiene, you are offering yourself major Self-Care.

Going to therapy- I’m a therapist and I know how much therapy sucks sometimes. It’s not necessarily a feel-good type of self-care (at least not the day of). But it’s needed and it’s worth it and it’s definitely a long term investment in yourself that has a lifelong impact. Go to therapy.

Setting boundaries and saying no- So hard. So uncomfortable. So good for your mental health. Again, it sucks in the beginning and holding boundaries is even harder than setting them sometimes, but your future you will thank you, and it should be counted as Self-Care every single time you do it. Again, it’s not usually thought of as Self-Care (and can even feel selfish if you aren’t used to doing it!) but it is and you deserve the credit for it!

These are just 5 things that I can come up with off the top of my head that I know people are doing and aren’t giving themselves credit for. If everything time you ate, slept, made a wise financial decision, went to therapy, or set a boundary you stopped and intentionally said, “I’m Self-Caring right now” I promise you, your cup will feel more full.

What other ways can you think of that you do Self-Care that aren’t typical?