"How can donuts be okay/acceptable/good/notbad in MY grey? That does not make sense and trying to get used to it makes my brain hurt sometimes. " Most of us can admit, in some area of our lives, we are very black and white in our thinking. It’s either gotta be this way or that way. There is no in-between. But why are we like this? What is so hard about the grey?
I’ll tell you my theory: There is no way to judge yourself in the grey. Follow me here- with black and white thinking, there is a set of “rules” that you are forced to live by. There is a right and a wrong. When you are following those guidelines- you know whether or not You are doing good or bad. And I think we crave knowing whether or not we are doing good or bad. Do we get to give ourselves a check mark for today or do we need a little self-blame and guilt to “motivate” ourselves to do better tomorrow? Only the black and white rules can answer that question. We need to know, deep down, “Am I good or bad?” Maybe this goes all the way back to smiley or frowny faces by our names on Pre-K chalkboards. Certainly it comes from letter grades from the time we are able to perform. At all times, we want to know how we are doing (especially in comparison to others). Black and white thinking gives us that answer we are looking for. I used to have very black and white thinking when it comes to my diet, for instance. If I was following the Whole30 diet (which I did, for a very long time) I was doing good. I was good. Whew- I felt relieved. Check mark. Gold star. There are very strict rules to follow that someone else made up (so I didn’t have to be the decider of the black and white) and it was very easy to determine if I was following them correctly. I was good when I was following the rules. I was bad if I was not. I knew where I stood and could judge myself accordingly. But here’s the thing- I don’t even think this is necessarily a quest for perfection. Even when we can say, “I’m doing bad on my diet” (followed by a string of negative self talk) we still, in some weird way, are okay with that- BECAUSE AT LEAST WE KNOW WHERE WE STAND. And again, we have a deep desire to know where we are. It is all about knowing how to rate/grade/judge yourself. The grey causes anxiety because if you don’t know what the rules are, you don’t know how to make a plan (and don’t we all need to think we have a plan for everything). We are not in control without the black and white. I think this is why the concept of Food Freedom is so hard for so many people (myself included). There are not strict, universal rules that someone else has decided that you should live by that will tell you if you are doing it right or not. You have to make the rules for yourself and that includes allowing room for some grey. It is scary and does not feel natural. It is ingrained in us that donuts are bad, always. How can donuts be okay/acceptable/good/notbad in MY grey? That does not make sense and trying to get used to it makes my brain hurt sometimes. Living in the grey is like being in uncharted territory. You do not know what you are dealing with there. There is no ranking system, nothing there to tell you where you stand, no way to know if you are doing good or bad. This constant judgment of ourselves even makes self hatred more acceptable than not knowing (it is more comfortable to think the usual “I ate a donut, I’m bad” than to think “I ate a donut and even though everything I’ve ever known says I’m bad, I’m actually….okay?”). For many people, it is easier to beat yourself up for eating donuts than to even imagine food being a neutral thing that has no moral value. No rules around food is scary. I honestly think this is something we are all struggling with right now. We are living through completely uncharted territory and people are freaking out because black and white has changed into grey with little warning, and we are desperately looking around for something to tell us whether we are doing okay. Am I handling this like I should be? Before, not being productive was bad. But now, people are saying it is okay to not be productive? What does that mean?? How can I be good and unproductive- those two do not match. What about if I stop working out because my gym is closed? Am I good or bad for not focusing on fitness during quarantine? Again- normally that is a black and white thing for people, and we are being challenged to live in the grey. I repeat this almost daily- self awareness is half of the work in therapy/life, and I believe that applies here too. Knowing and acknowledging that some of our anxiety, some of our unsettled feelings, could possibly be coming from not knowing how to tell if we are doing good right now is important. Not knowing how to process the rules having changed. I’m asking you to sit with that if you are feeling overwhelmed, reminding yourself that this is new and we have no measures. Wherever you are and however you are taking things a day at a time- you are doing okay. You are good. And grey is okay. -Julie *Update on 1/27/2021 -This is the first January that I haven't done #JanuaryWhole30 in several years. It has been glorious. I've eaten several donuts. I have no desire to ever force myself back into those strict black/white rules again. It has taken me a long time and a lot of internal work to get here- but God, I'm thankful for it. I'm in the grey and I know I am good. You can get there too! The first step- walk away from the rules! And then...get yourself a therapist :)
22 Comments
Tonia Anderson
6/16/2021 03:19:34 pm
I can boldly say that Lord Zakuza is certainly the best when it comes to getting back your broken relationship for I got my partner back through his help and I'm very grateful for that and I wanna say thank you Lord Zakuza. For more info about Lord Zakuza works, WhatsApp: +1 740 573 9483, Email: lordzakuza7 @ gmail. com, Website: lordzakuzaspells.com
Reply
Bryan Krauss
7/23/2021 09:12:58 pm
HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR. WALE TEXT/WHATSAPP +1(978) 406-9575.
Reply
Timothy Dale
8/25/2021 09:36:57 am
PERFECT LOTTERY SPELL THAT WORK FAST WITHIN 24 HOURS WITH DR RAYPOWER LOTTERY SPELL POWERS
Reply
1/17/2022 10:46:02 am
I NEED A LOVE SPELL THAT WILL MANIFEST WITHIN 24 HOURS CONTACT (DR DAVID) HE HIS THE BEST LOVE SPELL CASTER WHO HELPED ME RESTORE HAPPINESS BACK TO MY RELATIONSHIP WHATSAPP +1(203)-533-9214
Reply
Shenny Bones
2/7/2022 11:49:35 pm
How I Got My Husband Back With The Help Of a Real Genuine Spell Caster Called DR PETER WhatsApp +2348162247974 Is The Best Spell Caster Online And His Result Is 100% Guaranteed
Reply
Lisa Bennett
8/26/2021 12:55:18 pm
Hi everyone... Am so excited to share my testimony of a real spell caster who brought my husband back to me. My husband and I have been married for about 6 years now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cared about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the Internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Wale can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 48 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family is living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr. Wale If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. you can WhatsApp him +1(978) 406-9575 or Email him at : everlastingspellcast@gmail.com or view his website for more review https://everlastingspellcaster.website2.me/contact
Reply
Very interesting article. Many articles I come across these days do not really provide anything that attracts others as yours, but believe me the way you interact is literally awesome I do respect that so much. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates you make and as well take the advantage to share some latest information about
Reply
Williams Right
10/12/2021 06:54:44 am
Reply
Cristy Davis
10/28/2021 02:32:28 pm
Hi everyone, after 10 years of playing lotto game i am finally living my dream life, all thanks to Dr Dominion i will never forget that great man never in my entire life, i am who i am today all because of him he gave me a winning numbers to play and he prepared a lotto winning spell for me that helped me won the powerball jackpot. friend and I stopped at the party store that day to buy some Lottery, I bought a couple scratch offs and decided to get one Mega Millions ticket and one Powerball ticket, too.
Reply
Gerald Efferson
10/31/2021 04:55:43 pm
HOW I GOT CURED OF HERPES DISEASE I'm here to testify about what DR. WALE did it for me. I have been suffering from (HERPES) disease for the past 5 years and had constant pain,especially inside my body. During the first year, I had faith in God that I would be healed someday. This disease started circulating all over my body and I have been taking treatment from my doctor, few weeks ago I came across a testimony of one lady on the internet testifying about a Man called DR. WALE on how he cured her from herpes disease. And she also gave the email address of this man and advised anybody to contact him for help for any kind of sickness that he would be of help. so I emailed him telling him about my (HERPES) he told me not to worry that i was going to be cured!! Well I never believed it, well after all the procedures and remedies given to me by this man a few weeks later I started experiencing changes all over me as DR. WALE assured me that I will be cured, after some time. I went to my doctor to confirm if I had finally healed Behold, it was TRUE, the test came out negative. So friends my advice is if you have such sickness or any other kind of diseases you can contact DR. WALE for help. WhatsApp/Text him now +1(978) 406-9575 or Email him at everlastingspellcast@gmail.com
Reply
12/18/2021 05:29:12 pm
I am Larry Baier. I can never stop thanking Dr Graceondu for transforming my life, i have been playing lottery games for a very long time and i have never one day win any game, i met a friend whom i complained to about my inability to win and he introduced me to Dr Graceondu whom helped him by praying for him and giving him a game that he played and he won $150,000
Reply
Gordon Rees
12/21/2021 08:56:34 am
I am so happy and filled with JOY. I am Gordon Rees by name and I work as a taxi driver. I love playing lottery but I have not won any huge sum except for a few Pounds. I decided to search online for help on how I can win very big because I have been playing lottery for the past 10 years. Then, I saw a post about Dr Amber who specializes in lottery spells. I contacted him and he told me everything about how to get the spell done for me and I agreed. He prepared a lottery spell for me and within 3 days, he gave me the numbers to play the lottery of which I did and after 2 days, I was told that I have won the sum of 1 million Pounds on the lottery game I played. I was surprised about it and I had to make sure I verified everything before believing that I was the winner of 1 million Pounds and ever since then, my life has changed and I am so happy living my dream life. If you need help to win your lottery game, WhatsApp Dr Amber on: +1 (406) 646-2222 or email: amberlottotemple@yahoo.com
Reply
12/23/2021 09:47:24 pm
What a powerful spell caster, all my life i have never seen a powerful man like Dr Graceondu, i have been playing lottery game for years now and i have never won any reasonable amount of money i was just checking things online and i stumble on a testimony about Dr Graceondu on how he helped someone with a lottery game and the person won a very big amount of money at first i never believed in the fairy tails but i just decided to give it a try, so i contacted Dr Graceondu, and he told me what i need to do, so i did what he asked me to do, the next day in the morning he sent me some lottery number to play so played the game, to my greatest surprise i won a very big amount of money $5.1million i was shocked i couldn’t close my mount because it was a life transformation for me, i just want the whole world to help me thank Dr Graceondu for transforming my life i promised him i was going to tell the whole world about him, you can also contact him if you need his help too.
Reply
1/17/2022 02:25:31 am
Hi everyone i want to share my amazing testimony on how Dr Graceondu blessed my life, i used to work as a cleaner in supper market, i have been playing lottery game for long now and i don't usually win, i came across a testimony of someone testifying about how Dr Graceondu prayed for her and gave her a lottery game to play and she won big amount of money, so i also decided to try my luck, i contact him through his website and he assured me that he will help me, he told me it will take him two day to pray for me, so on the second day he gave me some lottery numbers to play and i went to play the game so on that faithful day i went to check the game to my greatest surprise i won a very big amount $234.2 million that changed my life and my status, i quit working as a cleaner in the supper market and i became a company owner.
Reply
SUNIL SINHG JAMES
1/17/2022 10:46:37 am
I NEED A LOVE SPELL THAT WILL MANIFEST WITHIN 24 HOURS CONTACT (DR DAVID) HE HIS THE BEST LOVE SPELL CASTER WHO HELPED ME RESTORE HAPPINESS BACK TO MY RELATIONSHIP WHATSAPP +1(203)-533-9214
Reply
Shenny Bones
2/7/2022 11:54:54 pm
How I Got My Husband Back With The Help Of a Real Genuine Spell Caster Called DR PETER WhatsApp +2348162247974 Is The Best Spell Caster Online And His Result Is 100% Guaranteed
Reply
cecillia hills
2/8/2022 04:36:11 pm
BEST AND URGENT LOVE SPELL TO GET BACK WITH YOUR EX HUSBAND/WIFE THROUGH A POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER CALLED LORD ZULU CONTACT HIM NOW FOR YOUR TESTIMONIES. CONTACT HIM ON WHATSAPP NOW @+1(909) 781-4612.
Reply
Mariam Robert
2/11/2022 03:53:46 pm
I want to share my wonderful testimony how I got back my husband back, who I sworn ever to be with until when he left me to another woman for no reason and I try to make things work for both of us yet things were getting worse and I love him so much and there is nothing I could do to get my husband back until I saw a testimony share by a woman called Lauren from Australia on the internet talking about a powerful spell caster who brought her husband back within 24 hours and I decide to give it a try and to my greatest surprise he also did it for me just as he did for Lauren and I have a lot of people complaining of fake spell caster but this one I met was a real spell caster who help me to solve my problem I have no solution to, I introduce many of my best friends that have a similar problems, and their problem were solve with the great help of DR Jumba, who help them to get back their lovers within 24 hours. I am so happy that my husband is back to me again, and the most surprising thing is that our love is very strong, every day is happiness and joy. and There is nothing like being with the man you love. I am so happy my love is back to me with the help of DR Jumba . if you have similar problem I will advise you to contact him ,he is there to help you and put a smile on your face as he did to me and others you can also WhatsApp him +1(908) 517-4108 or Email him at : wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com or view his website for more review https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com
Reply
2/14/2022 04:34:17 am
Hi everyone i want to share my amazing testimony on how Dr Graceondu blessed my life, i used to work as a cleaner in supper market, i have been playing lottery game for long now and i don't usually win, i came across a testimony of someone testifying about how Dr Graceondu prayed for her and gave her a lottery game to play and she won big amount of money, so i also decided to try my luck, i contact him through his website and he assured me that he will help me, he told me it will take him two day to pray for me, so on the second day he gave me some lottery numbers to play and i went to play the game so on that faithful day i went to check the game to my greatest surprise i won a very big amount $234.2 million that changed my life and my status, i quit working as a cleaner in the supper market and i became a company owner.
Reply
EVA LELE
3/5/2022 05:09:57 pm
HOW TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK & HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER. BACK I want to thank Dr Omokpo for saving my marriage. My husband treated me badly and left home for almost 3 month this got me sick and confused. Then I told my friend about how my husband has changed towards me. Then he told me to contact: {dromokpo@gmail.com}that he will help me bring my husband back to being a good man. That this great man helped her too.
Reply
Gloria thomas
3/29/2022 03:14:37 am
Hello everyone i want to testify of the great and powerful spell caster named Priest Jumba who brought back my ex who left me and got engaged to another girl,We where happy together when all of a sudden he just change he used to call me every morning and and night before going to bed but all that stopped when i call him he yell at me and told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore i was so sad and confused i didn't know what to do then i went online to search on how to get back my ex then i found an article where someone was talking about how the great and powerful Priest Jumba helped her and she left his email address i took it and contacted him i told him my problem he only smiled and told me to relax everything will be OK i did everything he asked me to do and he assured me that after 24hrs he will be back,To my greatest surprise the next morning it was my boyfriend he came back knelling and begging for me to accept him back now we are so happy together he can also help you contact him on wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com
Reply
Keith Burge
5/18/2022 08:22:47 am
LORD BUBUZA IS THE RIGHT MAN TO HELP YOU WIN ANY LOTTERY GAME: My life is testimony because of lord Bubuza. How will I thank him enough for making me a millionaire with his lottery spell, Before now I was struggling to make a living but here I am today sharing my wonderful testimony of how I won big in the Michigan lottery game. I have never seen a man with a heart of gold like him, after casting a lottery spell for me he gave me five digit numbers and said it was revealed to him by his gods when casting the spell. I played the lottery game and the numbers match the five white balls and I won $1 million dollars. I think this man is a god on Earth for making me a Jackpot winner. Do you want to win the lottery games without stress or fear ? Lord Bubuza is the right man, he is a SEER and can reveal winning numbers with his spell. My name is Keith Burge, contact him via website: Lordbubuzamiraclework.com or email: Lordbubuzamiraclework@hotmail.com
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Julie
|