"If you are feeling the pressures of society are too much, that's because they don’t fit you. They aren’t your rules. Expectations shouldn’t be one-size-fits-all for what a woman is “supposed” to be. "
My favorite topic? Self Worth. (You might have picked up on that by now ; )
Why is it so important for me to talk about? I deeply believe it is the heart of so much of who we are and yet we spend the majority of our lives unaware of its importance or impact! I mean really- have you taken much time in your life to think about your worth? (It’s okay, I hadn’t for many years of my life either- but I changed when I did.)
Self Worth differs from self care, confidence, and from loving yourself. It’s not the same thing as self-esteem either, which many people confuse. It’s so much more important. You can also find it at the core of almost every issue- that’s why I talk about it so much! So, HOW is it different?
In my opinion, your worth is what lies underneath all of these other things. If you think your problem is your confidence, dig a little deeper and you’ll hit on a lack of self worth, I can almost guarantee it. How can you be confident when you don’t know what you are worth? How can you take care of yourself if you don’t have your worth defined?
A lack of connection to your self worth contributes to so many different issues: anxiety, depression, relationship problems, difficulty with boundaries, the need for perfectionism. When my clients present with any of these things on the surface, I always take it back to their self worth (or lack thereof). That seems to always be my ground zero to begin building a foundation to support all of the other good things that follow.
The biggest problem the average woman has with her self worth is that she doesn’t know what it means, where it comes from, how she wants to define it for herself, or what would/could potentially change it. You can easily be shaken and persuaded to believe what someone else tells you you’re worth, if you haven’t taken the time and done the work to define it for yourself. Believe me, the world is sending you messages about your worth from a million different directions at any given time. That’s why we do this work in therapy, by the way.
Over the next few weeks I’m going to write a blog series on how self worth impacts each of those important categories:
Difficulty setting and holding boundaries
The need for perfectionism
(and any other topic that you would like me to weigh in on- just comment below)
I also talk a lot about defining your worth for yourself. What does that mean? It means you get to explore what’s important to you and write your own rules. If you are feeling the pressures of society are too much, that's because they don’t fit you. They aren’t your rules. Expectations shouldn’t be one-size-fits-all for what a woman is “supposed” to be.
I hope this resonates with you. I hope it has you thinking. I pray that you are at least contemplating beginning to challenge what you have been told about your worth and knowing that you have the option to reject it. And stay tuned as we start exploring how your self worth may be the underlying cause to some of life’s biggest troubles.